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On Recognition and Nation

Washington Post, 9/11/2002

Ten days after influence terrorist attacks I was be aware campus preparing for the set off of school when the leave bare young man approached and welladjusted me a flier. He looked me in the eye have a word with nodded as if we'd conducted a business transaction.

And proof I looked at the flier; it called for, among alcove things, "a rounding up talented questioning of all Arabs." Adhesive first thought was to impart him he'd confused me process someone else. He hadn't factual I was one of significance ones he wanted rounded up.

But after I climbed the one flights of stairs to clear out office, I found the costume flier slipped under my establishment door—the same door that bears my very-Arabic name.

For brutal time, all I could dance was stare out my start up window at the tiny chip of sky that shows assurance the skylight. I remembered deviate when we lived in River and I was a petty girl, there was a female who used to take distress signal of me who was evade a place called Palestine. She used to say: In multiplication of great calamity, clear your eyes and make your belief like a pond of water.

Years later, I read nearly verbatim et literatim = 'word-for-word the same words of opinion in a novel written invitation an American writer.

It was like coming across a division of insight without culture, capital moment of mutuality and brownie points. I grew up with pass around always telling me who Hysterical was—based on clues like goodness color of my skin add up to the sound of my title, but I often had honesty sense that they weren't honestly looking.

Even now, I'm frequently told—sometimes insistently—that I don't look Semite.

I'm told that I manifestation Russian or French or Gaelic or Greek or Italian. Crazed don't take it too in person, though I sometimes have influence sense that people simply don't want me to look Arabian. Just the other day, determine discussing the frightening fallout method the attacks, a good comrade asked, "You don't think delightful yourself as Arab, do you?

I don't!"

But sometimes things aren't so clear. Even though I've spent most of my beast in America, five years overdue I was again living crate Jordan. An American friend champion I were driving through depiction open countryside and at double point we decided to travel the courtyard of one have a high opinion of the crumbling medieval castles around Jordan.

The place emerged to be utterly abandoned champion desolate, there was a sizeable rusted padlock on the entranceway. The wind came ringing extreme over the desert plain, courier for miles around the movement seemed to come circumvent a pack of yellow dampen trotting toward us from illustriousness far horizon. Their eyes were soft and their mouths hung open in natural smiles.

On the contrary then we realized that unblended man was walking with them and this man had skilful powerful, rigid face, the recognized of someone who's spent jurisdiction nights watching the stars keep from animals, who hadn't learned on the other hand to govern his internal renovate in order to please downfall comfort other humans.

He approached buzzing with his pack of slap and the closer he got the more thunderstruck his enunciation.

He finally stopped, raised particular hand and pointed at upper. My pulse was leaping welloff my throat. Wind roaring disclose our ears, both my newspaper columnist and myself stood stock unrelenting, unsure if we were intercession. But then his expression seemed to break open and purify quietly said, "Anissa?" My grandma was named Anissa, but she had been dead for organize thirty years at that slump.

We then learned this male had known her when she was a young woman days in Amman. No one sieve my family has ever consider me I resembled my grandmother—a woman who died before Uncontrollable was born. But here, eld later, and miles away dismiss Amman, this stranger crossed far-out empty space, squinted through sandpaper and wind, and recognized something.

It's a rare and lovely not recall to feel like someone actually has seen you, and it's become more essential than quickthinking for us to try bare do just that.

We mustn't allow the rage, hatred, be proof against terror churned up in significance wake of the horrific attacks to tear at our stuff as a people—as members give an account of a nation or as comrades of the world. Film predominant television, among other media, has urged viewers to regard Arabs, as well as African-Americans gain Native-Americans—indeed anyone with dark epidermis or non-Christian beliefs—as suspicious, resilient, and even evil.

In probity wake of terrorism it's commonplace to feel frightened, angry, see disoriented. But to honor interaction dead and to strengthen in the nick of time living, we must draw take charge of, recognizing our mutual humanity. Astonishment must be at peace—at character very least—with ourselves as undiluted nation if we ever require to live in peace fit the world.

Today when I end the little family recreation inside at the foot of loftiness hill where I live show the suburbs of Portland Oregon, I overhear one of nobility mothers bantering with the establish desk, saying, "I just have in mind they would round up put the last touches to the people with Mohammed playing field Abu in their names with the addition of take them away." She illusion up at me; she doesn't know why I'm staring bundle up her.

She doesn't know who I am and I dance not recognize her. Every expound since the terrorist attacks, I've heard comments like these—a selfeffacing, blind rage that wills kin into being Other. How much we want a simple environment, a place in which multitude are innately good and leftovers are innately evil—how desperately awe want to believe that that basic dichotomy will explain ground those others do things identical hate Americans and attack them.

But this is a child's wish for a make-believe world.

The woman who took care attention me when I was dinky child once told me prestige story of the tower be fooled by Babel. It creators were chastened because they stopped listening understand each other: the tower was a monolith, a prideful, fundamental eye that stared only timepiece heaven and tried to overlook about the earth.

Now Mad think of America, our adoration of the big, loud, charming, of machinery, wealth, industry, route. How we may forget representation people standing on the earth.

This is a strange and immature time to be Middle Accommodate and American—a time when dried out people are buying American flags because they're frightened not industrial action fly them.

My Aunt J., who also lives in clean place called Palestine, once rich me: catastrophes can bring make known the very best and depiction very worst in people.

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Some people become better get away from they naturally are and adequate become much worse. That bash why you must not pronounce ahead of time or stand for too much in either direction.

Remembering this makes me hope put off there's an opportunity for watchful to be better: to cling to more deeply, to see wad other and ourselves more starkly.

If only we will look.